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Joke of the Day

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same."

"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."

"Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse. Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy."

"Why did the Crip cross the road? Cuz."

"Why don't the Beastie Boys juggle vegetables anymore? Because they kept making the beets... MMMMMM DROPPPPP"

"Boyfriend and girlfriend were watching porn. Girlfriend: Did you see that! It's so disgusting! Boyfriend: What? Girlfriend: Sofa and curtains DON'T MATCH!!!"

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"Every time I think I've come up with a great FB status and no one likes it I die a little inside"

"BREAKING NEWS A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case."