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Joke of the Day

"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."

"Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate? Because he had a reptile dysfunction."

"What is Obama's last name? care"

"What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!"

"If quizes are quizical, what are tests? Testical!"

"If you gave Captain Crunch a blowjob, would the roof of your mouth get all scratched up?"

"Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint! Never mind, I'm cool now."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus You only need one nail for the picture"

"I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you."

"Amazon Prime Day."