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Joke of the Day

"So what if I used a time machine to kill Hitler but arrived too late? And now he's alive and knows how to time travel? Would you guys be mad"

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"After my prostrate exam, the nurse asked me an interesting question. She asked ""Who was the guy in the lab coat?"""
"What's Irish and sits on your lawn? paddy o' furniture"
"How many dead orphans does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than 10, cause it's still pretty dark in my basement."
"Dodgeball in gym class... because life wasn't already hard enough when I was 12."
"A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off. He is now a registered sex offender."
"If someone makes you want to murder them, don't hesitate to do it. That moment you wait is the difference between 1st and 2nd degree murder."
"Hilary and Trump are on a sinking boat. Who is saved? America"
"Why couldn't the pornstar join the navy? There was too much seamen."
"How do you make a hormone? ... Don't pay her."