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Joke of the Day
"My doctor says my emoji use is keeping me young."
Next Joke
"Recent Studies... Recent studies show that 4 out of 5 blondes are blonde"
"Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single."
"My pants say yoga but my ass says more cupcakes please"
"ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me"
"Everyone always thinks I'm gay... Even my boyfriend."
"Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend."
"What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor? A dog with pawlitical experience."
"Being bummed that you finished your sandwich only to remember that you haven't even taken a bite of it yet must be what Heaven is."
"I was trying to chose a password for my email, but I was not able to... I had chosen BrazilianDefense, but apparently it was too weak."