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Joke of the Day
"You shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since you walked there."
Next Joke
"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."
"People say I'm a stand up guy.. ....but I prefer to sit down when I can. Good morning everyone!"
"What present did the kid with no hands get? Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet."
"I've got sexy women on me like white on rice Fried rice that is."
"Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?"
"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."
"how do you get a cat to say like a chicken freeze it and bang it against the table and it says: gog gog gog"
"Daaaaamn girl! You're like a fire alarm! Really loud and annoying!"
"A man purchases a kitten, which he's having trouble house breaking. What does his friend say when he comes to visit? Your house is quite the cat-ass-trophy."