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Joke of the Day

"Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam? His professor said he should study hard."

"I'm terrible at telling jokes... I always punch up the fuck lines"

"How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips."

"Why did Ahmed take his clock to school? He wanted to see time fly"

"Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse."

"What did Santa Claus say when Mrs. Claus asked him for the weather? It's rain, dear!"

"If anyone sees Phillip... ...tell him I have his screwdriver."

"Why are they called dive bars? Because they have pool"

"Why don't witches wear a flat cap? There's no point to it"

"Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day....."