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Joke of the Day

"After his passing... ...his re-released albums will officially be reprince."

"Their wedding went off without a hitch... ...which was a problem in itself!"

"What's the difference between a clever child and a rude marathoner? One's a cunning runt..."

"Three Mexicans were seen at the border. They were tres passing."

"I have a button on my microwave that says stop time. I assume its for the timer but I don't touch it just in case."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: You love me? Cop: Me: Cop: Me: Is it because I'm driving a lawnmower? Cop: Yes. Me: *floors it*"

"My girlfriend's refusal to learn the difference between baking soda and washing soda leaves me foaming at the mouth"

"What did OJ say to Nicole just before he killed her? *Your waiter will be with you in a moment, ma'am*. (was reading an OJ post in another sub and remembered this one.)"

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere."

"An exchange in Frasier Niles: she was eerily calm. She just stood there rubbing her ocelot. Martin: you know they got a cream for that"