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Joke of the Day

"What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common? They both wipe out Klingons."

"I never make mistakes. . . I thought I did once; but I was wrong."

"I was gonna make a joke about black people... , but it's too dark."

"""Chest, chest, chest and chest, chest and chest"" - T-Rex singing ""Head, shoulders, knees and toes""."

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus doesn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body."

"Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs? Not Mariah Carey"

"My last days. If I ever end up on life support unplug me. Then plug me back in again and see if that works. REBOOT me baby!"

"What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea? It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)"

"What's the difference between three penises and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson ""I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"" Hodgson responded ""Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"""