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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus doesn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body."

"How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!"

"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... But it needs more work"

"So a guy walks into a bar with a gun. Angry he snarled, ""Aight, who the hell boned my wife and mom?"" The bartender shook his head and smiled, ""You don't have enough bullets bud."""

"Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat? ...Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat."

"Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!"

"Sometimes an unfollow can be so therapeutic."

"Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants."

"Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I'm thirsty."

"[me narrating a documentary about grasshoppers] And here we see these little liars hopping on sand."