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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A tyrano-snore-us rex."
Next Joke
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."
"Healthy cereal feels a lot like dressy sweatpants."
"[Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the MALE SIRI: Listen, here's what you need to know. ME: I... MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I'm speaking"
"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."
"Why was the accountant constipated? He couldn't budget."
"What's the key to a Pirate Opera? The High Cs"
"Where do Satanic cults get their candles from? Bloodbath & Beyond"
"What is your preferred type of birth control? ""Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence."""
"Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back."