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Joke of the Day
"Healthy cereal feels a lot like dressy sweatpants."
Next Joke
"What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure? A hearti*choke*. ... :D"
"What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot? Elton John's chin."
"Why does a squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry."
"Limerick There was this baker from South Carolina Who stuck an eggbeater in her vagina The cakes she would glaze In an orgasmic haze And her screams they would rattle the china"
"How do you know if a girl is on her period? Shut up!"
"Did you hear about the two gay guys that got into a fight at the bar? They went out to the parking lot to exchange blows."
"2 guys with Alzheimer's. ""I'm off to go get some ice cream, do you want some?"" ""Yeah sure"" Shortly later, he returns. ""Here, I brought you your fish"" ""Fish!.............. where's my fucking chips."""
"Someone you don't care about just listened to a song you don't like on Spotify!"
"I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?"