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Joke of the Day

"Healthy cereal feels a lot like dressy sweatpants."

"If humans have politics, then what do bees have? POLLENtics"

"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"

"what's the difference between a black man and a box of donuts? One of them's already full of holes before the cops see them."

"Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together..."

"I played Dodgeball... I got Bullied.... I ate Gluten... I didn't get Participation Trophies... I turned out fine... So will your kid..."

"How does a penman make his living? He charges a calligra-fee of course!"

"What does BMW mean Some say Bitch Moan Wine others say Black mans Willy Post what you think"

"Interviewer asked me why I'd make a good waiter? Me: You could say I...bring a lot to the table."

"I put $1 aside every time my girlfriend has sex with me, and that's how much I'll spend for her birthday present So far I'm getting one fancy-ass glove."