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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and an egg falls on his head. The barman turns to him and says, ""The yolk's on you!"""

"What happens when Peter Pan tries to throws punches? They Neverland."

"""What's up?"" asked the guy with literally no sense of direction."

"With all this excitement about Guardians of the Galaxy, we shouldn't forget the movie of the summer is yet to come out. We still have to wait for Expendables 3."

"Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box."

"At my job I am forced to deal with more cunts than a gynecologist."

"What did the Bacon say to the Tomato? What did Bacon say to Tomato? ""Lettuce get together"""

"Is it too much to ask for an attractive hot stalker....I mean, come on, seriously!"

"A hawk snatched my gf's chihuahua today.. ..it got rid of that annoying bitch for me in one fowl swoop."

"Why don't they play poker in Africa? Because there's cheetahs."