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Joke of the Day
"I fucked an Asian in an elevator. It was Wong on so many levels."
Next Joke
"Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death."
"Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager."
"Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water"
"I'd say popping your trunk to release 10,000 butterflies is the most magical way to elude the cops."
"I had a dog that always used to chase people on motorcycles In the end I had to take the keys off him"
"Sasquatch is just a regular quatch who tells it like it is."
"I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I'm afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there."
"If you woke up in the woods with a condom in your ass and no recollection of the night before, would you report it? No? Wanna go camping?"
"I have seen my first naked lady Sorry, I meant... I have seen my First Lady naked."