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Joke of the Day

"I decided to come to my friends as transparent they saw right through me."

"Brad Pitt was just telling my friend he liked me & then I woke up so it looks like the best part of my day is already bullshit & over."

"Q: When do the leaves begin to turn? A: The night before a test."

"[Call from cell company] We can give you 15 gigs for $100 Me: Excellent! *Puts the band back together"

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."

"How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily."

"I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !"

"What does a statistician call a defective butter substitute? A margarine of error!"

"What did the homeless man say to Barack Obama? ""Can I have some 'change'?"""

"It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby."