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Joke of the Day

"Our FedEx guy keeps delivering diapers & formula but I didn't order any. And he cries when he holds the baby. Weird, huh?"

"I hate it when people make fun of the disabled They can't even stand up for themselves"

"Woman wearing sweatshirts I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me."

"Why did the sandwich shop sound terrible? It was out of tuna..."

"My 4 yr old came in my room last night at 3am. I asked him what was wrong and he said ""how many eyebrows do I have?"""

"A barbed-wire tattoo on my arm keeps my arm horses from running away"

"The children of Amazon cannibal tribes think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny because he hides body parts for them to find every Easter morning."

"My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard."

"I told my girlfriend that she drew her eyebrows too high She looked surprised."

"I was looking for a subtle way to describe my penis... ...and then I went to /r/minimalism..."