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Joke of the Day
"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? *sniff* do you smell carrots?"
Next Joke
"So I slept with a blind girl last night. She mentioned how big I was down there. I replied, 'you're pulling my leg!'"
"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"
"A Chinese couple, Jane and Jack Wong, was killed by the White Walkers but never came back to life .. .. because ""two wongs don't make a wight [1]"" [1] http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Wights"
"I robbed a bank dressed as a frog the other day It was the first time I Kermit-ed a crime"
"Ordered a side of fries with my meal and the server forgot and they never came. I have been wronged before, but not like this. Not like this"
"I'm optimistic. My life is only half full of shit."
"What do Kiwi nuclear engineers eat? Fusion chups."
"What is the capital of Greece? $20 (A friend told me this a few days ago)."
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? [NSFW] I can't jelly my dick into your mom's ass."