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Joke of the Day

"What is the capital of Greece? $20 (A friend told me this a few days ago)."

"Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings? Because he was always coming in a little behind."

"When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs."

"His ex saw me and said, ""I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder""... I said, ""Guess so, but I Be Holdin' his hand!!!"""

"What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend? Disoriented."

"You know you're drunk when the cat barks."

"The instructions said if my erection lasts longer than four hours to see a doctor... My calculus professor was no help at all."

"I got this amazing girl's number at work today See you later Jane Doe 522/16!"

"McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead."

"I was at the airport when I saw a soldier returning home. The first thing he said was, ""look mom, no hands."""