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Joke of the Day

"The perfect kiss and the perfect high five are indistinguishable emotionally."

"My love life is like magic... Because it dosen't exist"

"Why didn't the kayak owner and yacht owner get along? They didn't have ships in common."

"martha stewart put a drop of citrus oil in the bong water and i cant even be mad at her. in fact it is the opposite emotion"

"Where did Suzie go after the bombing? Everywhere"

"My mum's sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit. Auntie Climax."

"What's the square root of 69? 8 something."

"My girlfriend doesn't want to drop acid with me. She's acting like a basic bitch."

"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""

"CROSS THE ROAD... MONKEY Q: Why did the monkey cross the road? A: So he could get spanked."