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Joke of the Day

"This year's presidential election is like 69ing someone... ...no matter who comes out on top, you'll be looking at an asshole."

"What do you call a group of blind German kids? Not-sees"

"My girlfriend is adorable, smart, sexy, and looking over my shoulder as I type."

"My thoughts on the French Revolution Great concept, terrible execution."

"Want to hear a joke about Subway? Okay, but it's not really kid friendly."

"How did Jesus get those sexy messiah abs? He did crossfit."

"[at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*"

"How to comfort a Grammar Nazi ""They're Their There"""

"There is a ""lie"" in believe, ""over"" in lover, ""end"" in friend, ""us"" in trust, ""ex"" in ""next"" & ""if"" in life."

"Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention? Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha"