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Joke of the Day

"[at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*"

"Punchline Challenge: ""And by the way, you've got a lovely home!"" What's the setup ?"

"My wife told me I needed to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe."

"What do you call an attractive zombie? Drop dead gore-geous!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. JK. Rolling"

"What's the difference between Thomas Jefferson and Ariel Castro? Thomas Jefferson wore a wig when he raped his slaves"

"Why are Asians not optimistic? Because they have a limited view of life."

"The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"