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Joke of the Day
"How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce? (x-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh."
Next Joke
"Watson, Sherlock Holmes's faithful assistant, asked, ""What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?"" Sherlock replied, ""Alimentary, my dear Watson."""
"What do you call a quadriplegic in the ocean? Bob..."
"""Time heals all wounds ;)"" - Rattlesnakes"
"Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But Mum it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake how much is left."
"I'm getting engaged next month. Not because I'm in love but because it's gonna look dope on Instagram."
"You threw. Our tea. In the harbour. And then you changed the spelling of harbour. We do not. Forget."
"What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? ""Where on Earth have you been??!!"" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!"
"Attractive person: Hi. Me: Is this some kind of sick joke?"
"Why are lawyers buried 18 feet deep when they die? Because deep down they're all actually good people."