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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal say after eating a leper? That just fell apart in my mouth!"

"I once made a belt out of herbs. It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme."

"90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running."

"*Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle."

"Why did the plant say after being watered? ""I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack""."

"When I was a kid, we had to do emojis with our face."

"What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window"

"Q: Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? A: Because it was too cold out tide."

"They call me the Titanic because I once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants"

"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."