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Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay they would be called bagels."

"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him GOD, I hope he calls me."

"Why did Einstein marry his cousin? It's all relative."

"OMG a Matterbaby just washed up on Santa Monica beach! *""what's a matter baby?""* uh... nothing what is a matter with you?"

"I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats. I'm trying to quit cold turkey."

"My husband told me he'd like to be woken up by a blowjob... ...so I put my dick in his mouth to wake him up."

"Two Chinese guys walk into a bar.. The bartender says ""Why the same face?"""

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Them: R You: No, its the C!!!!"

"I like my jokes like I like my sex life... ... quick and unsatisfying."

"A super moon is just like a regular moon except Lois Lane doesn't recognize it when it's wearing horn rimmed glasses"