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Joke of the Day

"ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business."

"A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook. But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet."

"I went to the zoo but there was only one animal... it was a Shih Tzu."

"Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation? He needed some time to himself to decompose."

"I like my women like I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon."

"Nodding my head like yeah moving my hips like yeah selling my blood like yeah because I made a series of poor financial decisions like yeah"

"Lenins If life hands you Lenins, start a socialist revolution."

"The only way I'd see Taken 3 is if Liam Neeson gets kidnapped and his daughter has to rescue him"

"Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We're raising mashed potatoes."