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Joke of the Day

"ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business."

"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."

"*sees oven left on ""What moron left the oven on!?"" *tries repeatedly to turn it off ""WTF!? Stupid oven!"" *realizes 425 is the time"

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants"

"I didn't want to walk in the woods. But i was forest"

"Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days? Because 7 days makes a hole weak"

"What is a pirate's favorite pokemon? Arrrriados"

"How is a teacher like a hooker? They're both pretending that they're enjoying it."

"DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*"

"HR: You know why we called you down? Me:Hm. Promotion? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking."