31716

Joke of the Day

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

Next Joke
 
"My brother and I share the same birthday. We aren't twins, our parents are just fucking cheap."
"Cop 1: You think Simon will escape? Cop 2: Nah, he's locked up in there good. Simon: Simon Says free me. Cop 1: Dang it, he got us."
"Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman? One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction"
"Why do vacuums machines make for such terrible hairdriers? because they suck."
"I Hate everyone! Angry guy: I HATE EVERYONE Random guy: Sir, how can you hate me? You dont even know me.. Angry guy: Hello my name is George.. Random Guy: Im Max.. George: OK, now fuck you Max"
"I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk"
"Man buys a cat, finds out cat is fake. It's the cats name... Ba dum dun... Tsi! Thanks folks, I'll be here all night..."
"Do you know the meaning ""Happy wife, happy life""? I tend to go with ""Happy wife, extended life."""
"My guy friend is pregnant! Inconceivable!"