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Joke of the Day

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

"Just hung a picture of Steve Buscemi over my daughters toothbrush to ensure proper brushing."

"You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper."

"[4 strangers are smearing their bodily fluids on each other] [one turns to camera] ""There has to be a better way."" VOICEOVER: ""Hot tubs."""

"I did squats today. Mostly because I was hiding from a coworker."

"Saying ""unwanted houseguests"" is redundant. I just call them houseguests."

"How many A.D.D kids does it take to change a lightbulb? WANNA RIDE BIKES?"

"I have been feeling down on my karma lately.. so I bought a horse and named her Karma. Upvotes for me and Karma-horse."

"Just a small joke Your penis"

"What do you call a deceptive legume? A Lima bean"