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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish."

"Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I'll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child? Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"I came home to a man going down on my asian wife... I looked that man straight in the eye and said to him ""Was it worth it? You know you're gonna be hungry again in an hour!"""

"They won't be able to serve bottled beer this year at the baseball stadium. They lost the opener."

"[invention of blue cheese] ""this cheese has gone off"" sell it ""but it's gone mouldy"" I SAID SELL IT! ""fine"" & double the price ""are u ok?"""

"sticks and stones may break my bones but if you say the right words i'd probably break my own bones too"

"Hey girl, you smell like you're going to give me the wrong number."

"A little boy and his father are walking in a cemetery ...and come across a gravestone that reads ""here lies a lawyer and a good man"" The boy asks his father ""Dad, why did they bury 2 men in 1 grave?"""