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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk"

"What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter? A hole in Juan!"

"""I just want to meet a nice guy."" -Girls who exclusively date assholes"

"I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it"

"Friend: ""What's a good movie?"" Me: ""Snakes on a plane"" Friend: ""Whats it about?"" Me: ""Horses... horses on a boat"""

"If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever"

"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"

"What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns? Go straight for the juggler."

"""Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."" ""Some, I assume, are good people"""

"The relationship stages;- :* :'("