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Joke of the Day

"I Hate everyone! Angry guy: I HATE EVERYONE Random guy: Sir, how can you hate me? You dont even know me.. Angry guy: Hello my name is George.. Random Guy: Im Max.. George: OK, now fuck you Max"

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear"

"I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle."

"Whats the difference between sex and US Presidental elections? In sex,the decision to choose the cunt or the asshole is a pleasure"

"A groaner for all you math lovers out there... Just kidding, that will never happen!"

"Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25"

"I'm really obsessed with Harry Potter. On a scale of 1-10, how obsessed do you think I am? 9 3/4"

"Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?"

"Q: How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch."

"It's always fun running into an old friend you haven't seen in a while. But then you usually wind up regretting hitting them with a car."