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Joke of the Day

"I'm planning on being more spontaneous in the future"

"What is a Stealth Bomber's favourite Banana in Pajamas? B-2"

"When you turn on a light and the bulb burns out it's because you suck and that bulb would rather kill itself than hang out with you."

"Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin."

"A good coffee table book would be photos of U.S. Presidents' orgasm faces."

"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""

"*forward*reverse*forward* *reverse*forward*reverse*... --someone in an electric wheelchair giving a blowjob."

"Not all wood floats Natalie wood, for example."

"My wife complained that I don't give her flowers anymore. I replied that she doesn't give me blow jobs anymore."

"If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny shit."