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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you throw a hand grenade into a kitchen? Well, the mess is the same but the annoying jabbering stops."

"Just asked someone for their date of birth for a work insurance thing & it was 4/20/69 & I just went dead silent for at least 20 seconds"

"Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat."

"If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon."

"If a penis/vagina was asked to judge your appearance it would probably say.... Urinate"

"Next time you're on a date and someone asks ""Is that your boyfriend or your brother?"" smile really creepy and whisper ""Both""."

"A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Claus wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""

"Why did Obama and liberals decide to tax aspirin? Because it's white and it works"

"What do you call a black girl with braces giving a blowjob Black and Decker pecker wrecker"

"Murphy asked Paddy... Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"