178002

Joke of the Day

"Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat."

"I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today."

"The Queen is what she drinks... Royalty [ I hope this isn't a repost. I thought of it on my own]"

"What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes? It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped."

"An Englishman walks into a bar. There's normally a Scotsman, Welshman and an Irishman too. But they're still at the Rugby World Cup."

"A man comes home to find his wife in bed with his best friend, he immediately picks up his gun and shoots the wife He gives the dog a second chance though"

"I replace all the family pictures my coworkers have on their desks with pictures of baby sloths and suddenly I need professional help?!?"

"Setup Punchline."

"Sexism wouldn't exist if it weren't for your women's opinions."

"for several hours a day, we are just an arrow floating on a screen"