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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between acne and the pope? Acne doesn't come on your face till about thirteen."

"Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents. "

"Unscramble: pnise If you got spine, you are correct. The rest of you have been on twitter too long."

"What happens if Santa lost his balls He doesn t sing jingle bells anymore"

"What do you call 10 rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline."

"It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100."

"I will gladly eat anything I find in a fridge unless you put your name on it, in which case I will be full of guilt and shame when I eat it."

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? You have now! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I'msosorry"

"*leans back in chair* wow, what a great question. I guess I'd say my biggest weakness is the 5 felony convictions I left off my application"

"Disappointed in the Baja Men for never writing a song about putting the dogs back in."