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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between acne and the pope? Acne doesn't come on your face till about thirteen."

"A guy is at Chick-Fil-A When all of a sudden Tinker Bell shows up. He goes to a worker and says, ""Wow, you guys have fairies in here?"" The worker then says, ""No, our CEO doesn't like it."""

"Even paranoids have enemies."

"2 cats are trying to cross a river... The first cat is named ""One Two Three"", and the second cat is named ""Un Deux Trois"". Only 1 survives, which one? One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank."

"I am proud to announce that my girlfriend and I are pregnant! Now, I just need to find a way to tell my wife.."

"What do a tampon and a redsox season ticket holder have in common? Both have a great place to go but at a terrible time."

"Well it's almost time for that "" New Year New Me "" bullshit again!"

"looking for roommate, utilities included. if you're taller than me, i get to ride your shoulders when we are in the same room. no exceptions"

"That mini-heartattack you get when you sport a typo in your tweet."

"A man in the restroom today almost pissed on my pants from the next urinal over. I yelled at him and he said ""It's alright man. Wouldn't you rather be pissed off than pissed on?"""