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Joke of the Day

"I will gladly eat anything I find in a fridge unless you put your name on it, in which case I will be full of guilt and shame when I eat it."

"I have a step-stool and never met my real stool"

"My kids lost a Barbie shoe. I dug in the trash and found one. It was from a set they didn't know was missing Now I'm looking for 2 shoes."

"[Ariel climbs Rapunzel's hair with a dinglehopper between her teeth] ""There can only be one socially awkward Princess,"" she vows savagely."

"""It's complicated"" relationship status = someone cheated but we signed a lease."

"When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist."

"I get so excited when someone brings out the cake at a birthday party because that means I can leave soon."

"The characters from Dragon Ball Z aren't that super Just saiyan"

"it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head."

"Two Part Joke Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road? To get to the stupid bitches house. Knock Knock [Whose There] It's the Chicken!"