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Joke of the Day

"*leans back in chair* wow, what a great question. I guess I'd say my biggest weakness is the 5 felony convictions I left off my application"

"Looking for an Australian joke! I saw it yesterday. I only remember the last line was ""bummer man""."

"It's hard to tell jokes to shoreline oceanographers They always take things littorally."

"[Me chasing 12 greyhounds round a race track] YOU'LL GET TIRED EVENTUALLY. THEN I WILL PET YOU!"

"Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!"

"*breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird."

"Why are they rioting in Ferguson? Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done."

"A man has been admitted to hospital after pushing 6 plastic horses up his anus. Doctors declared his condition as ""stable""."

"Going Straight to Hell Q: How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday? A: They place flowers on the grave."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? (nsfw, like any good joke) I can't jelly my cock up your ass."