31449

Joke of the Day

"Why do Italian men grow mustaches? To try to look like their mothers."

"A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm. So he asks him, ""you shearing?"" The other answers ""nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."""

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they call me ugly and poor."

"How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? It ain't hard...."

"I remember when social networking was something that happened in person. How awkward."

"Did you hear about the soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas? he's now a seasoned veteran"

"Its stupid of Apple to include Health apps with their products... ...Everybody knows that people with one Kidney are not supposed to run."

"Of course most gay men dress well... they spent more than enough time in the closet!"

"I told my girlfriend that we should play trains... All she'd have to do is sit on my face. Then ill ""Chew chew"". // not my joke //"

"Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe."