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Joke of the Day

"Why do Italian men grow mustaches? To try to look like their mothers."

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"Mom: Why are you eating my flowers? Me: I'm gonna be young FOREVER! Mom: How? Me: Duh, from the stem cells. Mom: I'm worried about you."

"What did the Turkish guy say to his babe when she invited him to eat? Ke-bab"

"I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them."

"Was Hitler really such a bad guy? After all, he did kill Hitler."

"My friend Gav died last night from taking too many heartburn tablets... I can't believe Gavisgon"

"""Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?"" ""He didn't do his 1st grade homework."""

"The one good thing about Hurricane Patricia Clean Drinking water falling from the sky for Mexico!!"

"How much Viagra do you have to give a computer to turn its software into hardware? Just enough to completely fill up the floppy diks drive."