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Joke of the Day

"I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them."

"A mexican walks into a wall, what breaks first? His lawnmower. A jew runs into a wall, what breaks first? His nose."

"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."

"Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver."

"My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary."

"How do you know Jesus is okay with gays? Because he had two dads"

"What's the craziest ""would you rather"" scenario you've ever heard? Time for some new ones, the classics are getting tired..."

"What do you call a pirate cartoon? An animatee!"

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it"

"Child: ""Mom! Mom! The dog is having it off and is f*cking!"" Mom: ""Yeah, then don't look!"" --- ___ --- ___ --- | --- ___ --- 20 seconds later the Child: ""But it hurts..."""