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Joke of the Day

"Mom: Why are you eating my flowers? Me: I'm gonna be young FOREVER! Mom: How? Me: Duh, from the stem cells. Mom: I'm worried about you."

"Supposedly a banana a day can help prevent colon cancer Doc forgot to mention you're supposed to eat them."

"Ya know, I've never taken an ugly girl to bed... Woke up with a few though."

"Who did the dyslexic man sell his soul to? Santa. /cringe"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *gags*"

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you!"

"Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes."

"A cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says ""Audi, pardner."""

"Cup of Tea According to Tetley, the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap her arse and say ""two sugars fatty""."

"""Well, there goes the end of my arm,"" said Tom offhandedly."