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Joke of the Day

"What did the band kid say to the other band kid after she found out he was cheating on her? ""You double timing son of a bitch!"""

"A soon-to-be-married Asian man calls off his engagement, but keeps the wedding band. He's really into recyciring."

"Having sex is like playing an instrument. When you do it right, you'll start hearing noises."

"For such a picky eater, I'm certainly not a picky weight gainer."

"I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up. ""Abort, abort abort"", I shouted."

"I live with my wife in a two story house... ""I'm too tired"" and ""I have a headache"" are the only two stories I hear..."

"Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e."

"Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, ""Wow. You've aged badly..."""

"How do you unlock a door made of dough With a cookey"

"I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s)."