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Joke of the Day

"I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up. ""Abort, abort abort"", I shouted."

"Two hunters were driving down a narrow two lane road in an off-road jeep, and saw a sign that said 'Bear Left'... They turned around and went home."

"A cowboy peers down the pit of an outhouse... He sees an Indian standing at the bottom. He asks, ""How long have you been down there?"" The Indian replies: ""Many moons."""

"You and I share a very special connection. *I'm parked outside your house using your Wi-fi."

"What's the difference between a tropical beach and a priest? One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son."

"The only honorable thing I've ever done in my life is this girl named Judy. Although, I'm starting to have doubts she was a real judge."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass, What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss"

"Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage."

"What hurts? When a man with a boner runs against a wall. And what is embarrassing? When his nose touches the wall first."

"Why did Wile E. Coyote have a ""Detour"" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff? To throw the Roadrunner off."