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Joke of the Day

"Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, ""Wow. You've aged badly..."""

"[to the secretary before I go in for job interview] ""when the music starts, hit this button and that will activate the fog machine"""

"reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?''"

"Wouldn't it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one."

"The seven deadly sins were having a Mexican stand-off... Greed-o shot first"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it"

"So how did you die? Too long for here, read comments."

"Masturbation comes in handy. Literally"

"Oh, so you don't know how bright this flashlight is? Let me enlighten you."

"Little kid walks in on his daddy masturbating... * Daddy, what are you doing? * I am jerking off, soon you will be doing it. * But why, daddy? * Because my hand is getting tired."