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Joke of the Day

"Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, ""Wow. You've aged badly..."""

"After growing a beard for two months I decided to shave it off. I must be a man now, because boy did that put hair on my chest!"

"*stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes"

"College spelled backwards is ""egelloc""... ...which makes no sense just like everything i've learnt in college"

"Which dinosaur will never be discovered? The Clitaurus"

"You can never tell when someone's had plastic surgery. It always looks super real & not weird or awful. You should get some."

"What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"

"Two kids Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? It doesn't cost $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big...NSFW Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big dick? *when the person says: 'no what'* I do"