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Joke of the Day

"For such a picky eater, I'm certainly not a picky weight gainer."

"How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of."

"What was the warlock's favorite cookbook? The Necronomnomnomicon."

"The lead drummer of my marching band is such an asshole. So I pounded him. Let me just say that the re-percussions I faced weren't very nice."

"Did you hear The Fonz wrote an erotic novel? It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"When I was asked what my five year plan is I responded... I couldn't tell you, I only have 2020 vision. pm me if you want my address to come murder me in my sleep for this."

"What do you call an Indian stoner? Man, deep"

"Why don't women drink beer at the beach? Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz."

"A blind dude walks into a bar. Ouch."

"What kind of bees are sometimes filled with milk? BOO-BEES! (boobies)"