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Joke of the Day
"""Did you bring your LIST?"" -Everyone who sees Craig at the supermarket, probably"
Next Joke
"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you. It's always going to be you. It's NEVER me."
"Sometimes, when I am pumping gas, I'll wink at the person at the next pump and say, ""This smells terrific."""
"6:30 is the best time on a clock... ...hands down."
"What do vegetables watch when they're horny? Corn"
"My Abuela voted for the first time yesterday morning! And for the last time a few hours ago."
"Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams."
"Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton."
"Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed? He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral."
"Small penises are like iPhones with cracked screens... They serve their purpose but nobody really wants one."