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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What do you get when turn three blondes upside down? Two brunettes and a red-head."

"[date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer"

"How do you disappoint a Redditor? [removed]"

"According to this bathroom stall, my ex changed her number again."

"[doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. ""Nooo!"" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn."

"""Does this hurt?"" ""YES!"" ""What about this?"" ""OW!"" *Dr. writes notes* ""Patient shows symptoms of pain when stabbed with knife. Keep updates."""

"Fred Flintstone only gets haircuts in the UAE... It's the only place he can get an Abu Dhabi Do!"

"Cat places ad in the classifieds... ""Seeking Pets""."

"What do you call an elderly burglar's vagina? A Crook Granny's Nooky Cranny!"

"100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this."