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Joke of the Day
"I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher... Because I want to make at least 6 figures."
Next Joke
"Date advice to women from a guy: Laughing makes you 100 times more attractive than makeup."
"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."
"Someone needs to tell attractive people that their stories are boring."
"I need 6 to 8 vegans... ...to mow my lawn. Plenty of food here, just bring your own drinks please."
"Press ""three"" for Spanish, and press ""fo"" for Ebonics"
"""I like cooking my family and my pets."" Use commas. Don't be a psycho."
"Boss: Read me one of your funny tweets Me: Not right now I'm working Boss: Bahahahaha tell me another one"
"How many potatoes does it take to kill and Irishman? None. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!"
"Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary."