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Joke of the Day

"Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to? Chopin"

"How do five gay guys walk? In one direction."

"Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual."

"I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting."

"What does Nic Cage have in common with Asian fathers? Oh God, not the B's! Not the B's!"

"Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky."

"It appears we have reached that day once again where all the Irish people get drunk and start fights tonight and skip work tomorrow. Monday."

"Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you."

"In a spelling bee contest, what is a Jewish candidates worst nightmare? A grammar Nazi"

"How do you tittilate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot."