183713

Joke of the Day

"Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you."

"My girlfriend got so mad she battered me with some vegetables. She has a terrible tempura."

"""Blackhat"" opens to just $4M this weekend with a $70M budget, making it the first bomb of 2015. Biggest hack in the movie? Micheal Mann"

"Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned"

"How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno, ask the Kids."

"I know this may have been posted as it is fairly common, but here it is anyway: What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal? Claude"

"What do you call a female lumberjack? A lumberjill"

"Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section."

"What's the difference between a chicpea and a tomato I don't pay 1200 dollars for a tomato on my face."

"Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they're not looking!"