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Joke of the Day
"How does a whore relieve herself? She prosti-toots!"
Next Joke
"""She lived a long, long life. And saw basically nothing."" - eulogy for a cat"
"Yea autocorrect....I wanna luck your puddy and flick you in the asks. Perfect"
"Did you hear about the wheat farmer that got sent to jail? His wife *bailed* him out."
"Yeah, it IS true that migrants do the jobs you don't wanna do. Like being a suicide bomber."
"30+ and single? There's an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat."
"Hellen Keller walks into a bar Then she walks into a chair Then a table...."
"Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army."
"The secret to making a truly tasty vegan burger is to use beef."
"McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin"