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Joke of the Day

"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"I like to think that I'm a tiger... even though I'm a mere cat."

"What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common? They'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar."

"My job blocked the Favstar website and I'm not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I'm totally taking hostages."

"How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones."

"Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use by date? It was mayhem."

"This morning I saw a homeless guy talking to his shadow... Does that mean six more weeks of recession?"

"My relationship is complex part real, part imaginary."

"What do a guitar and a drum have in common? Neither of them are a clarinet!"