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Joke of the Day

"What does Dracula say to his victims? It's been nice gnawing you."

"This is what I say to people who are against abortions Don't get an abortion"

"Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe."

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds."

"What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K."

"My resolution this year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos."

"Killers normally target Family and friends Good thing I don't have any friends."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Owls go. Owls go who?"

"Saying ""Sloppy seconds"" instead of ""leftovers"" is really funny, until your five year old says it."