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Joke of the Day

"I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds."

"A wise man once said, a cheating wife is like a deck of playing cards... You need a heart to love her A diamond to marry her A club to smash her fucking head in And a spade to bury the bitch..."

"Statistically speaking..... Isn't a mean Joe just an average Joe?"

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says ""can you make me one with everything?"""

"It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go ""Aaaaaargh"" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in."

"To save a bit of money on e-cigarettes I've started to roll my own batteries."

"Whats black and doesn't work ? Decaf Coffee ..... you fucking racist."

"Interested in seeing the ""North Pole""? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it)"

"Thank you for saying, ""I'm just being honest"" after that horrible thing you just said. I feel better now that I know you meant it."

"What do you call a bug that vanishes? A non antity."