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Joke of the Day
"My mom would probably complain in my funeral about how somebody's son died better"
Next Joke
"Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper? He thought it was Coke!"
"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? I don't know he hasn't opened it yet."
"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight rises."
"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."
"Me: Look. There's a deer. Hunter: Don't spook it. Me: *slowly stuffing a werewolf mask back into my backpack*"
"Thank God lent is over.... not using condoms was definitely getting nerve-wracking."
"22 year old me after a night of drinking: ""I hope I didn't do anything stupid."" 29 year old me: ""I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."""
"Why did Waldo only wear stripes? Because he didn't want to be spotted."
"Trying to nurture my inner bully to stay motivated. So far, all I've succeeded in doing is stealing my own lunch money."